When the COVID-19 pandemic began in 2020, I was a stay-at-home mom with a writing gig here and there. It wasn’t a significant income, but it helped with expenses for our family of six. My husband worked full time and had a side hustle he’d been fostering for the better part of a decade. Although he dreamed of pulling the plug on his 9-to-5 job and going out on his own, many unknowns scared us. He wasn’t ready until he was essentially thrust into self-employment by a pandemic furlough.
We learned very quickly how to survive as two self-employed individuals, but it isn’t easy or always comfortable. We must plan, budget, and sometimes put things on hold until the money comes in. But we are almost always able to pick up a sick kid, grab a coffee on a random afternoon, and never have to change out of our pajamas if we don’t want to. It’s not a bad way to live.
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Next to our mortgage, health insurance is our most significant expense.
When my husband was furloughed, I hadn’t worked full time in several years, and he carried all our expenses on his own, including health insurance. At his last job before becoming his own boss, he was working for a health care organization, so not only were the benefits a reasonably priced deduction from his check but they also were extremely good.
Now, to be frank, our insurance is insanely expensive, and it’s not great. It costs us $45 every time we go to a primary care physician, and that’s if they just look at us. With four kids, it’s always a strep test, ear wax extraction, or some other random test that gets tacked on at the end. One of our kids was in the emergency room last summer for a minor cut that didn’t even require stitches but cost us nearly $1,800 for glue – it’s a bit maddening.
But we can’t live without health, dental, or vision insurance, so we pay high premiums. That’s what I miss most about being employed by someone else. But I don’t miss it enough to give up my life now.
Paychecks are always different.
My income is steadier these days as I have clients I work for regularly and can anticipate what I will make each month. My husband’s isn’t as conventional. When the economy is good, so is his business. When people are tightening their belts, he feels the squeeze.
No matter what, every sale he makes is different and can vary by thousands of dollars. Depending on the client's payment terms, it can sometimes be months before he sees a paycheck. His business is also seasonal, so we have to be sure that when the money comes in that we put enough away to cover expenses when things are light. Spring until fall is always great, so if we go on vacation, it’s during the summer. In the winter, we hang close to home and watch our pennies. That can feel pretty draining and scary.
Retirement is all on us.
There are no employer matches when you are self-employed, so we have to be sure that any money we are saving or investing is going to be done wisely and securely. We work with experts in financial planning and accounting to ensure we are making the most of our income and deductions. Prior to self-employment, I was totally unaware of some of the tax benefits, and getting good advice from an accountant really made that easier.
We don’t drive luxury cars or live in a giant house. Our large family fits comfortably into a home that we got a great deal on at a low-interest rate that I don’t plan on leaving. Sure, there are bigger, fancier places, but if my husband has to go back to an office 40 to 50 hours a week to afford it, I’m happy right where I am.
I try to spend my time wisely.
My husband and I share pick-ups and drop-offs to maximize work and relaxation time. Because I do almost all of my work at home and start early, I try to get chores done while my kids are at school so I can spend time with them at home. This doesn’t always happen, but working in the morning and doing laundry in the afternoon will help me feel productive.
Because my husband and I are normally around the house during the day, sometimes we'll eat breakfast together or go up to our kids' school for a special event. Self-employment also gives us a chance to binge-watch TV if we want to or go out to lunch. That would definitely be harder if we didn’t make our own schedules, which is a huge plus for us.
We make sure our kids have what they need, not always what they want.
I have teenagers and younger children, and none of them — at least not right now — are overly obsessed with brands. We make sure they have what they need, but they may not get what they want until their birthdays or holidays. My kids will tell you that growing up in a big family has made them very amicable to sharing, and they will never throw a fit if we go to the movies and get one bucket of popcorn and two drinks. Maybe it is because I was raised in a big family and always shared, but it just doesn’t seem natural to me to buy four of everything when you can split and go back for more if you’re still hungry.
When I buy new clothes for my kids and myself, they are almost always on sale. I love to shop seasonal sales for some of my favorite designers and get things at least 50% off. I’m not a thrifter, but I am thrifty when it comes to those kinds of things, and my kids are perfectly happy with it.
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At times, self-employment is scary.
There have definitely been times in the last four years when we have questioned what the heck we are doing and if this is sustainable long-term. Every time we go to renew our health insurance, we talk about how much easier life would be if we didn’t have that big bill. Then we think that if one of our kids gets sick at school, we can both be there in 10 minutes, no problem. To me, that’s worth it.
Right now, self-employment works for our family. We’ll probably never be rich in a giant house wearing the newest designer clothes, but being able to be with my husband and kids fills my cup full enough, and that’s all I need.
