Growing up in the '80s and '90s, all I would see in magazines and on TV were women, mainly, Caucasian women, showing off their long, flowy, silky straight hair. That's what I thought was considered beautiful. I wanted my hair to look just like theirs.
As a child, looking in the mirror, I thought my thick, curly hair was a nuisance since my mother had to run a hot press comb through my hair each time she washed it to achieve a straight hair look like those women I admired.
Burns from the hot comb would put me in tears, but I didn't care; I just wanted my hair to be like everyone else.
As I mentioned, my hair was thick, plus long, so to save some time from the weekly hair pressing, my mother decided to have a hairstylist start doing my hair a few times a month.
It took hours for my new hairstylist to press and curl my hair, causing her to lose time that she could have used with other hair clients. So, she gave my mother the solution of using a relaxer, a chemical treatment that permanently makes the hair texture straight. The thing was, I had to keep up with the treatments or take the risk of hair breakage.
My mother was willing to take the chance because she believed the hairstylist, since the hairstylist, who is African American herself, had the relaxer treatment as well.
The hairstylist's hair looked great, with a smooth updo that took minimal work. Pretty much, wash, dry, and style!
The white, creamy relaxer was applied to my hair from root to tip, and after washing it out, my hair was hanging straight down my back. I looked in the mirror after my hair was styled and fell in love with my hair. It seemed so long and healthy!
I would get my hair relaxed until I became a mother myself.
As the years went by, I noticed my hair would shed more and break easily.
The thick, luscious hair I had as a child looked thin and lifeless by the end of high school. But I was so addicted to the relaxer's convenience that I continued with it until I had my daughters.
I was a young parent in my early 20s, and money was tight, so I started doing my relaxer treatments myself.
Here I am, years of altering my natural hair to look like someone I'm not. What example am I setting for daughters? Their curly hair is beautiful; I wouldn't want to damage their hair like mine. I want them to embrace their curly manes.
So I decided to grow my hair out and chop off my relaxed hair.
I tell my girls how much I love their hair all the time, and they say they love the fact their hair looks just like mine. This boosts my daughters' confidence levels and love for who they are.
Even though it may take longer to wash and style our hair, we use that time bonding. Sundays are our primary wash day, and we use it to discuss what's going on at their schools, what shows they’ve been watching, our schedules, and more. We also visit the hair salon together for a girls' day out.
My daughters see that long weaves are promoted as beautiful in African American communities in today's society.
Still, thanks to me showing them that their natural hair is gorgeous, just how God made it, it significantly impacted their confidence. Their hair is so versatile; my girls can wear it naturally curly, straight, puffs, ponytails, you name it!
I'm thankful to my daughters for helping me realize that my natural hair is beautiful just the way it is!
